Watch Me Loose It

Monday, September 27, 2010

I know two things...

That cramps SUCK, and that you shouldn't stay up half the night watching Hoarders! Well hello Monday. Today I am having a GREAT day. I made out with my scale this morning and that just put me over the moon. (for those of you who don't know me...when I 'make out' with something that means I LOVE LOVE LOVE it) example: I would so make out with that Peanut Butter Pie....yeah anyways. I am loving what it's doing, and what it's doing is moving in the RIGHT direction for after far too long. So when I seen it, I promised I would have a GREAT day. So far I have walked around the whole day looking like this.

Well Thursday I wasn't able to make it to the gym (gasp...I know). I had the chance to work a little late, and since we haven't been able to score any over time in a long time I jumped on it! It was only a few hours but it makes my check smile. And you know what happens when my check smiles.....Oh yeah you got it...I SMILE! See above photo. Anyways by the time we got home and I cooked there was no way I wanted to go to the gym. And the weirdest thing happened that night. Okay are you sitting down??? I felt guilty!!! Yes, I can hardly believe it either. I actually tossed and turned and I had a hard time falling asleep because of it. How the hell did that happen?? I have no idea either.

So I had to wait until Friday to do Week 2. Day 2. Here are my results. I did manage to beat my time from day one. Not by much but it is an improvement. Saturday, for some strange reason I wanted to do a test run 5K. After talking to my friend Anna, she said I should probably just bump up my distance a little and stay with that for a week or so. (We have about 4 weeks until the real deal). She said that I wouldn't want to hurt myself, I am so glad that I have smart friends. So Kayla and I headed over to the gym and this is what transpired. I am not really happy with these results. If I keep this pace, I will just about tie my time from my last race. I need to get some speed up for sure. I want to blow my time out of the water 59:58 (I know! I know...a turtle could beat that time).

Nothing much was going on this weekend. I was able to squeeze in some photo's of Kayla, Sunday afternoon. I just adore our new back yard. There are lots of sweet photo spots. Here are a few of my favorite shots. I love that she lets me do this. I have some ideas for next time too. I can hardly wait.

Tonight is lower body with J. I texted him early told him I was crampy and PMSy, and that I don't look for tonight to be fun for either one of us. He is either a) ignoring me b) with a client or c) not scared at all. With my luck I am thinking its C. I just doubled up on the Ibutab's just in case.

edited to add: Just got this text back from him: So how is that going to be different than any other nite? (oh yeah he did)

I do have my before photos, but I am waiting until I have my next set to post them. I want to see some PROGRESS before I post the damn ugly things. No seriously, you could use them to keep critters away in the dark. Scary stuff for sure.

Tomorrow is dinner with my girls! My FAVORITE night of the week. Yippy! I will let you all know how my session is tonight. See y'all in the funny papers. (what the hell does that mean anyways??)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

How Much Wood Can a Wood Chuck Chuck

Happy Friday Eve! It's 3:00 PM and this day is almost over!

My session with J last night was...well.....I haven't found the correct word for it yet. It was a full range of emotions I know that. But, I did kick major ass on my run before my work out. I was moving pretty fast 4.9-5.0 MPH. Oh yeah allllllllllllllllllll of this was moving that fast. That wasn't the hard part. That came when we moved into the torture chamber (this really cool room they have on the back of the gym that has low impact floors and where you can use all sorts of great equipment like balance balls and resistance bands etc). The first few minutes in there were actually AWESOME! I had asked him to bring his scale back because I didn't feel that the last time I weighted was very accurate (sodium is a bitch yo!). So he did. I was HAPPY :)

Then came the sheer FRUSTRATION. I had to do an exercise that should have been easy. Well yeah it would have been easy if I didn't weight 8985 lbs (this is a slight exaggeration). I got so winded, I could NOT catch my breath. I am not kidding. To the point of puking or passing out. I really felt like one or the other would happen. The came the ANGER. There is NO reason at the age of 37 years old that I can't do this. NONE. I will not let this opportunity pass me by. I will take full advantage of this and I will succeed.

After about 30 more mins of literaly kicking my ass all over that room, we moved back into th e main gym to the weight side, the side I like to call the BOYS side of the gym. Here came the PANIC, I am too fat to be out here, I will be in some ones way, what if someone watches me....Okay actually that was the last thing I am worried about. I have moved on passed that. If you don't like what you see, look the other freaking way. Any ways. we walked right over to this contraption. That looked like it belonged in some sort of sex video.

Yeah that is pretty much what I said. Here is where I chucked some wood, or chopped some, and maybe even did it reverse at one point and time. Oh yeah and by the end of it all that pulling and chopping and grunting, my boob popped out. Not the actual boob, but my boob in my bra. My bra is tan/flesh colored. So to everyone on the other side of the boob fell out. Hope everyone enjoyed the show, by the time I realized it, we were finished. You're welcome patroons of my favorite gym. I promise to not let that happen again. Even though it was way worse on you than it was me.

Speaking of my favorite gym.

This place is where it's at. I have always been afraid of going to a gym at my size. Worried about how it would feel (that is probably all in my head). But since I joined here, I have felt like this was MY gym. I come and go as I please, and I fell very comfortable there. Not out of place what so ever. Like I really do belong there. Just wanted to share that.

So last night after my work out, I went home to watch my favorite show of all time.

This year is season is going to be the best yet. Because I will be following along with the contestants and doing this at home. I know there is a lot of negative things out there about this show, believe me, I have read them all. But what people fail to grasp, is this show gives EVERYONE hope. We know that the contestants work out ridiculously long hours, and we know that is not likely in our own lives. But it shows the DRIVE that a person can have when pushed. That is why I watch. That is what motivates me. If they can push through some of there emotional baggage and make something positive out of it, then so can I dangit! It gives me hope that one day(even if it takes me 3 times as long as it does for them on the show) that I too, will be successful and reach my goals.

Tonight is Week 1. Day 2 for my Couch to 5k program. Wish me luck. I am looking forward to seeing how well I do.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

So you say it's Hump Day.

Good Morning Peeps! How is everyone today. I am really excited today is the first day of fall! Even though we still have the blazin' temps, just knowing that any day now it will start to cool down puts some pep in my step. :)

Well my second first day with J was crazy nuts! I walked a mile on the treadmill before he got there ( I am thinking I was DONE after that). When he got there it was lower body. Holy Batman! I have like ZERO core strength what so ever. Which you need a TON of to do lunges and squats etc. It was hard. Everything was hard. I really did like one part, where I was kicking the living crap out of one of those balance balls. By the time I was to the end of that part I was literately grunting giving it all I had. It felt amazing. I did notice that I have more strength on my right side than I do on my left side. I could kick harder, run harder, everything harder on the right side. When it was time to switch it up it was like wussy kicks. I don't know what the deal is with that. By the end of my session my legs were like spaghetti noodles. I had to sit and chill and catch up with K before I could walk to my truck! But nothing can explain the feeling I get when I lay in bed after working out like that. I feel like for the first time I am doing something RIGHT. Tonight we meet again. It is upper body this time. Bye-Bye bat wings!

Last night I tried for the second night to complete the Week 1. Day 1 of the Couch to 5K program. I tried last week, but I had a crappy pod cast and the music bored me to tears (and I got a freaking cramp that like to killed me). Well last night I was able to complete the whole session. HELL YEAH! I even ran the whole 90 seconds when it was time, at least 5 times! I was sweating my hiney off, but it felt GOOD!

I rewarded myself with dinner with an AMAZING group of friends. And believe it or not we did not go crazy and just eat because it was our 'free' day. I had blackened chicken and wild rice. And a bowl of fruit for dessert! We were ALL rock stars last night. Thanks for my yummy candle A, I promise I won't eat it!
Okay I will be back tomorrow and report all the horrible torture that I will endure tonight at the hands of J. I will promise to at least pretend to hate every minute of it. (I think I tiny part of me likes it...but just a TINY part).

Monday, September 20, 2010

Bedazzled Belly Buttons, and Blingy Finger Rings

Hey ya'll! Happy freaking Monday (in my most sarcastic voice EVER). Oh how I loath Monday's. They always come way to soon and are filled with problems I have no control over. I wish I could skip Monday's and just jump right on into Tuesday's.

Well today is my second (feels like my first since I missed a week) session with J. The last time we meet he asked me if I had my belly button pierced. Ummm...Hello...The last time I seen my belly button without standing in front of a mirror nekkid (I do NOT recommend this) was when I was 12. Back then only sex fens, and strippers did that. He said a lot of his clients do that, after they have reached there goal weight, he said they feel good about showing it off. I told him not to worry about that, I would never bedazzle my belly button, no matter how much weight I lost. *shivers* just the thought of that creeps me out. I couldn't imagine the guy at the piercing shop if I would show up requesting that service. He would never be the same again.

I am looking forward to getting on a schedule and keeping it. Last week I started the Couch to 5K program. I did Week 1 day 1 on Friday. I almost made it all the way through. I was having some major cramps so I stopped and just moved on to the bike to finish my 40 mins. I will try the same day again tomorrow. According to the website, the program will take you from sitting on your couch to running a 5k in 9 weeks. Now we all know I am NOT a runner, but I have been enjoying sprinting on the treadmill this past week. I long to be as graceful, as a runner. I have done three 5K's in the past year, and I am always in awe of the runners. They look like butterflies floating past me to the finish line. I would love to be able to float like that, even if it is just for quick spurts. So in honor of me trying I bought myself a new pair of running shoes. I am hoping that with these, and J I will be able to complete my next 5K on October 30 with a better time than my last one. My current time for a 5K is 59:58. I know that sucks, but I am working on making it better.

Well I have taken up a new obsession. I have a pretty big collection of big, bulky, shiny, cocktail rings. Last week I dug them out and started wearing them. I just ADORE them. Well in my down time last week I wandered on over to EBay and OMG...can I tell you I am in heaven? My mail man is going to LOVE me in the next couple of weeks. Here are just a few goodies that I have picked up this past week.

That's not even half of them! I can't wait to get them and start showing them off. Okay people. Wish me luck tonight. I would like NOT to puke, and NOT to pass out....Hey a girl can dream.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Cheap Therapy

Hey there peeps! How was your weekend? Mine was very uneventful...just how I like it. David was on call this weekend and when he is, we usually don't stray far from home. I was able to get a little cleaning done(very little..but who's keeping score here). So I had plenty of time for what I love most.

Art Journaling
I was turned onto this form of expressing myself about a year ago. I have always loved to devour galleries full of this type of art, but had never found myself wanting to do it. That was until I completed my first page. WOW! It was so therapeutic! Think of it as putting your feelings to paper...without many words. For me, I can look at an object and connect with it. I can 'see' a story in it. I can then take that object and tell my story with it. Since I started I have created about 15 pages. Each one telling a story of something that had some sort of meaning to my life at the time. Some of them, the story is very clear. Some of them not.

I love every aspect of this hobby. From having a moment, then taking that moment and running with it. I love gathering the things that will go into my page, and moving things around until I think they look just right. And the finally when its all finished, saving it and feeling like it is complete. Some pages come quick, everything seems to fall into place, some pages take longer because I have ONE idea that I can't covey so I dig and poke until I figure out a way to lay it out.

I plan on making a book with these when I have enough, but I love them so much to just put them in a book. So I have started getting them printed and framing them. They make me so happy to look at. I have a wall in my living room that is filling up quite nicely. I am already looking for a second wall to take over.

Enough about that...lordy I can get carried away can't I? LOL I got a text from my PT yesterday that he had to cancel all his sessions this week, that he was under the weather. Although I totally understand, and I hope he feels better soon, I am really bumbed. I think I will have the first work out jitters by the time we meet again next week. I have been to AF every day, except Saturday and Sunday since I hired him. I have been working that treadmill to death. I am feeling pretty comfortable jogging/and walking every night. And now that I have McGyvered up my IPhone so that my head phones work, I have something else to look forward too. Listening to an audiobook while I am on the treadmill. That made a WORLD of difference last night. I went .24 miles farther than I have been, because I was wrapped up in my book! Hell yeah! After working out last night I went to dinner with my girls, Anna and Kathy. I am so blessed to have 2 AWESOME friends to do this with. I really cherish my time with them and am always looking forward until the next time we get together. My WL journey has been 1344234% better with them along for the ride!

These two pages were done with them in my thoughts.

Friday, September 10, 2010

It's Friday Yall!

Happy Happy Friday! What is it about Friday that brings out the best in everyone? Your day can be going to crappy until someone reminds you that it is Friday and you are suddenly like...who cares if you lost my paper work. It's no big deal that you crashed my computer. Of course I don't mind working late today.......*screeeeach* okay let's not get too carried away here. Today is my favorite day of the week. I love knowing that if I can make it through today, I will be rewarded with 2 days where I don't have to answer to anyone but myself. You know how much I love to be rewarded.

Well how about dem Saints?! It's was a nail biter for sure. But it felt really good to win that one. Kinda like last year wasn't a fluke and we showed up to play again. For real. Can we take a moment for Shockey. *shivers* Okay yeah that done it.

Yesterday I wasn't feeling too hot. I had an upset tummy for most of the day. I had talked myself right out of going to the gym. Then Anna texted me and said that she was out of water and that if I was heading that way could I bring her a bottle. Well I can't let my girl go thirsty! So I put my big girl panties on (we won't discuss how BIG), and headed over. She was rockin' it on the elliptical, I hopped on the one next to her and lasted all of 3 minutes. Okay I have no idea how people do that. So I went to the treadmill instead. Still feeling the high from yesterday when I actually ran, I thought what the hell! I warmed up for a few minutes then cranked it up to 4.5 and ran! I only lasted about 45 seconds at first, then I slowed and let my heart rate recover and did it again. I did that for the next 20 minutes and ran a whole mile. Oh yeah I did that. When I finished all I wanted to do is admire the treadmill. But then I thought the guy running next to me was starting to get creeped out so I left. I am pretty sure I have slept with this stupid grin (yeah I'm grinning now) on my face all night. Today I am a little sore, not too much, but I am loving how I feeling besides that.

My girls (Kathy, Anna, Ashely) are going to do a 5K October 20th. This will make my 4th one. I am hoping that I can keep the pace with Anna and Kathy this time. I hope that by then I will have the stamina to complete it and not feel like I have just been hit by a freaking semi. I will let you know how that goes.

Thanks for all the support you guys. I love my friends and family, and I don't think I could ask for a stronger support group.

Have a happy Friday! I know I will.

And remember....If nothing changes....NOTHING changes.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

My, My Some things never change.

Hey there peeps. Did you forget about me? It seems like it's been forever. And if you think about it, it's been almost a year. Holy Batman that is a long time. Well in the past year a lot of things have happened.

Let's see......
David had to have surgery (AGAIN)
Someone broke into our home (Stole my camera 2 weeks before graduation)
Kayla graduated (OMG I know!)
Vacation (Of a life time)
We Moved (same great town another area)
My brother in law had brain surgery (He is doing WONDERFUL)
I lost my drive (But I have recently found it again).

It has been a crazy year for sure. But things are def looking up. David is now healthier than he has been in years. He is even gaining some weight (so freaking cool).

Some JERK FACE came into our home while David and I were at work and helped himself to my camera. I didn't notice until we were walking out the door for graduation. It totally sucked. On top of the mini breakdown I had 30 minutes before the biggest day of my daughters life, I wasn't able to take photos like I wanted too. Thankfully I was able to get my camera back, but a little too late. Now I don't trust ANYONE...not even the cat.

Kayla is working full time now. In January she will be working (at the same place) for a year. What a HUGE accomplishment for a young adult. She will start nursing school hopefully in January as well.

Our Vacation of a lifetime was amazing. We took a 7 Day cruise. Our ports of call were Cayman Island, Jamaica, and Cozumel. It was AWESOME. We did everything from swim with giant stingrays, driving across Cozumel in a dune buggy! We snorkeled and meet the most wonderful people ever.

We have lived in the same house for the past 3 years since we moved to Morgan City. I loved the neighborhood, but the price kept going up, while the house kept going down. We stumbled across this house almost by accident and 6 days later we were moved. It was NUTSO. But we like it here alot. The house is super cute, AND we are saving over $400 a month. HELLO!

My sisters hubby found out he had a tumor that was impacting the base of his skull. It was effecting his hearing, and causing partial paralyse in his face. I am happy to report by the grace of god he is doing wonderful! He still has a long road ahead of him, but he concord the hard part. Now it's just the frosting on the cake.

So in all that I have lost ME some where. I didn't totally give up, I just moved myself to the back burner for a while. Well now its time to start back on me. I am moving me back to the front of the line. Working on me. And doing for me. David and I have been talking for a while, about me hiring a personal trainer. I have been wanting to so bad, but the funds haven't been exactly right for it. Since we moved and were able to save some money that way he finally gave me the green light. :) :)

I have a really good friend Anna, whom I am pretty sure I have mentioned before that has been working with one and I have been living vicariously through her for a while. Well when she found out that I wanted to start, she talked to him and he said he would be willing to work with me at Anytime Fitness. So I had a consolation with him. After about 10 minutes I felt like I could totally trust him with my health and fitness well being. I signed up on the spot. I will be working with him twice a week. He has also designed an eating plan for me that will help me, along with working out, reach my weight loss goals. On our first meeting we really didn't work out (or at least he says we didn't) He just wanted to get some base readings. Like how many push up's I could do in a minute (16). How long I could hold the plank position (7.1 seconds). How many set ups I could do in a minute (44..not too shabby there). And how long I could hold the the Wall Set (25 seconds). After wards we talked about food and set some goals. Well actually he set one for me and I couldn't be happier. Thanksgiving, November 25, 2010 is when I have to reach my goal. He is not really big on weight goals, so we picked a size goal. I will be a size 22 by 11/25/10!

Last night was my first official work out. Oy! Boy was I scared all day. He told me to warm up on the treadmill before he got there in the evenings. So I walked about 1/2 mile by the time he got there. Then is when the fun started (NOT). We started interval training. I was walking 3.5 mph base with an incline of 3, and about every 3 minutes he would crank it up to 5 for 30-60 seconds. Holy Batman that was crazy. Let me be perfectly clear people I DON'T RUN! Well that is until last night at least. I couldn't believe it. I was kinda proud too. That lasted about 20 minutes or so and we moved into the workout room. In there I got to toss around a few balls, some big...some small...some really heavy...some really bouncy...Well you get the picture. (OUT OF THE GUTTER PLEASE). Rounded that off with some resistance bands and I was DONE. I almost wasn't able to lift my arms to unlock the car door. Words can not describe how I felt when I left tho. I feel like maybe there is a chance for me. I am looking forward to what will happen next.

So I ask you, would you like to Watch Me Loose It? For Real this time? If so stay tuned. I will...yes I said it...I WILL WILL WILL post at least once a day. Even if it's to say OMG HELP ME. But I plan on using this to document everything. I even have some before pics that I will add. I will also add my measurements *cough kill me cough*.

Anyone with me still?