Watch Me Loose It

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Now why did I sign up for this?



Okay yesterday started Operation Get My Groove Back aka OGMGB. Justin and I had a talk (okay he talked and I pretty much nodded and wept). I need to get over this slump I have been in and get back to where I was. So he reduced my calorie intake from 1800 to 1500. (holy batman). And I took on a couple of challenges.

Last night was Zumba night! Oh how I love Monday's just because of that. Seriously, I have a hard time wrapping my head around something being THAT fun, being exercise! I have never found anything that I just LOVE to do before I guess. And that is totally making all the difference in the world right now.

I mean where else can you get these kind of results, and have a blast at the same time? If you have not tried Zumba please give it a chance. If I can do it, ANYONE can. And if you are in the Tri City Area (where I live), let me know I will drag your butt to class with me!


So this is how yesterday broke down. I was VERY please with myself, and after seeing this.


I think I can totally handle it. It will just take me a few days to get back into my killer zone that I was in before, but I know I can do it. I want it bad again.

Today I started Jillian's 30 Day shred. Not only did I finish it without totally dying or quitting, but I also talked Micheal (my 14 year old son) into doing it with me. It was so nice to have him on the side of me cheering me on. So far that is the best part of this journey, is FINALLY being about to teach my kids healthy things. I look forward to seeing if we both can stick to this for 30 days. I have heard many good things about this. But it will talk discipline. I hope we BOTH can do it.

This week I have planned out all our meals. I have planned lunches, breakfast, and snacks for me for the week too. It feels pretty good, not to wonder what I am going to eat, and it feels really good, to have it there so that I can make the RIGHT choices.

Tonight is my first session of the week with Justin. I am working on not totally dreading these again. I feel like I have lost so much ground these past couple of months. I feel so out of shape (which DUH I am), but I was really feeling stronger until LIFE. I am hoping that I can get that feeling back again. It was a wonderful feeling.







Monday, February 7, 2011

100 Things to do in 2011 (well 89)

Some time in December a coworker and blogger friend posted a status saying she was thinking what she could do for her New Years resolution. I suggested that we all make a list of 100 things that we wanted to do in 2011 instead. And each month we could do an update post about where we are on completing our list. Well as things started spinning out of control towards the end of December I never completed my list, I only had 89 things on my list, so instead of 100 things I want to do in 2011, I have 89 and here they are.

1. Read/Listen to 12 books.
2. Complete a 5k under 45 mins.
3. Weigh less than 250lbs
4. Throw out all my 'fat' clothes
5. Cook 12 new recipes
6. Complete 7 days of 100% of diet and exercises in a row.
7. Complete Project 365
8. Clean Spare Room
9. Purge shoe collection
10. Purge purse collection
11. Start taking a multi vitamin
12. Be more understanding
13. Leave work stress at home.
14. Call my mom more.
15. Pay for a strangers coffee.
16. Be a better blogger.
17. Plan a date night at least once a month.
18. Start a Christmas kitty.
19. Plant veggie garden in the spring
20. Try 6 new veggies
21. Try 6 new fruits
22. Run a 5K
23. Ride my bike to Anna's
24. Ride my bike to the Lake.
25. Learn to Knit/crochet
26. Complete a 5K with David
27. Have a family portrait made.
28. Cook/Plan better dinners during the week
29. Pre plan lunches for the week and stick to it.
30. Drink more water, at least 150 oz a day
31. Go meatless for 1 day a week.
32. Turn spare room into a work out room
33. Complete at least one art journal page per week following the caravan
34. Exercise 5 days a week, more if I can
35. Be fitted for a new bra
36. Get contacts and wear them
37. Donate to a cause that means something to me.
38. Embrace myself. Quit hiding from old friends.
39. Form a Pokeno group
40. Go to a painting party.
41. Host a painting party.
42. Start a budget for bills and stick to it.
43. Be a better house keeper.
44. Start/join a book club
45. Be comfortable in the from row of Zumba
46. Try 1200 calories for 1 week.
47. Weigh less than 200 lbs.
48. Set monthly goals.
49. Set rewards for those goals.
50. Invite people over more often.
51. Make my bed everyday.
52. Find a church that suits me.
53. Try harder at work.
54. Do something kind and unexpected for someone.
55. Make 3 new friends.
56. Do something outside my comfort zone.
57. Get a new tattoo, something tied to my journey
58. Try Pilates
59. Go to another Broadway Show
60. Go to a concert
61. Jog for 1 continuous mile
62. Motivate some one to get healthy
63. Be comfortable in my own skin.
64. Take a special trip for our 20th anniversary
65. Do a 5K for a month for the whole year.
66. Learn not to hate them before the year is over.
67. Write/send notes to people who inspire me.
68. Organize/hang all my clothes
69. Complete couch to 5K program
70. Start couponing again.
71. Log 40 miles a month
72. Be comfortable nekkid.
73. Try to cuss less.
74. Wear a bathing suit with out dying on the inside.
75. Wear a sun dress without feeling like a whale.
76. Buy/wear matching underwear
77. Be rid of the sock basket.
78. Be more diligent in tracking my food intake.
79. Find another exercises/workout that I love
80. Eat 6 fruits/veggies a day
81. Be able to reach toes for own pedicure
82. To find an answer/solution about Davids health
83. Weekly grocery shop
84. Plan one on one time with the kids.
85. Plan family night ones a month.
86. Once a week use my lunch hour for exercise.
87. Learn to make Davids favorite cookies
88. Wash my face every day BEFORE working out
89. Learn a new craft for next years Christmas gifts.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

A Month of Updates

Hey there peeps! Sorry I have been MIA, but as some of you know my husband's health has not been the best these past few months. The last time I updated he was having complications from his surgery that happened on November 29. Here is what has transpired since then. These were my FB post's since that was the only way I had to communicate with the masses. If you don't want to read all the way to the bottom, I don't blame you, after 18 days in the hospital and another surgery, this time to remove 85% of his colon, he is home.
I wish I could say he is doing so much better. But I can't, he is doing some what better but he is dealing with a lot right now. His appetite is still not back and I am having to make him eat. The home health nurse is going to call the DR today. They are coming tonight to place a wound vac on his wound. This should help speed up the process of healing. He is really ready to feel better.
In this nightmare I have only gained 4 lbs. Which is a huge accomplishment if you ask me. It was literaly hell on earth for the most part. I started back with Justin this week. He handed me my ass on a platter. I am looking forward to completing me this year. I will be back to updating my blog again and it will be about me and my journey, thanks to everyone who contacted me and sent prayers our way. I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
12-26-10
6:31 PM
At the ER with David. Seems he has been hiding the pain from me for a couple days. Tonight he couldn't hide it any longer.
11:38 PM
Well they are admitting David again. We are just waiting for them to get his room ready. They have have him pretty medicated right now. We have got to find an answer to this. We can't go on like this much longer.
12-27-10
8:07 AM
They finally got David up to a room around 2 AM. We are waiting on the DR now. None of the meds they are giving him are helping any. Spasams every 60-90 seconds. My heart is breaking for him. Please someone make them stop. :-(
7:51 PM
Just talked to the DR. They are just waiting for a dx so that when we are referred to a specialist they can just start treatment. Instead of retesting him. For some reason I still don't feel satisfied.
12-28-10
11:27 PM
David is having a really bad night. Pain meds are not working anymore. Pain is unbearable. My heart is breaking.
12-29-10
12:50 PM
No big change with David today. They finally gave him something to help him sleep. But I can tell he is still in pain by the look on his face. I really wish he could get some peace. Still no answers yet. They are trying their hardest to get to the bottom of this. I pray it's soon.
12-30-10
9:15 AM
Well good news they are in the process of transferring David to Oshner's in New Orleans. Hopefully we will have some answers and he gets some relief soon. Thank god!
6:30 PM
O'chner's Hospital New Orleans
We are here and got David settled. Already seen two DR's. They have him set up for testing first thing in the morning. They seem pretty aggressive, which is exactly what we need. There is a hotel connected to the hospital here so the kids are resting. Keep those prayers coming.
12-31-10
8:00 AM
Good Morning. We have high hopes for today.
8:23 PM
This after noon leading to tonight has been really rough on David. He started to get sick to his stomach and they ended up having to place an NG tube in so that would help decompress his tummy and stop the vomiting. They told us the test they have done so far are inclusive and that they will start tmw from the bottom and test everything all the way up. I just sent my kids and my sister home. I am not sure how long we will be here but from the talks fro...m the DR we shouldn't be in a hurry to go any where. So that is where we stand as of right now. The DR did tell me this part that we are dealing with today will be over by tomorrow. And that he should at least be over the nausea by then. That is my first wish for the New Year.
1-2-11
6:09 PM
They took David down for a colon test. They were not able to pass anything through his colon at all. They are now taking him into surgery. They are doing an open surgery. They will do one of two things. They will either find the narrowing and remove it, or remove the whole colon. They will not know until they get back there. I will let you know as I do. Please say a prayer for him.
9:26 PM
Just got an update from the nurse in surgery. She said that they did find a problem (she did not say what) and they had to remove a substantial portion of his colon. She said they were finishing up and that they would be closing soon. Then the DR would be out to speak to me.
11:10 PM
David is out of surgery. They ended up taking about 85% of his colon out. This DR said that scar tissue had totally closed his colon off at the top and was moved all the way up under his rub cage. The good news is that she did not feel the ...need to give him a colostomy bag. She attached the small intestine directly to the colon. The bad news is that it make take up to 2 weeks for his colon to 'wake' up and start working properly due to the trauma it has endured. She said the reason the other DR did not see it was because it was done laproscopicly. She said that she feels that the problem was the Colon was never really free from the scar tissue 100% so it just seemed it was growing back. They are keeping him in ICU for the night and will bring him back to his room in the morning. They will continue to feed him via a central line in his neck until his colon is 'awake'. So nothing solid until then. They are also going to let me sleep in his hospital room tonight so that I can get some rest.
1-3-11
9:19 AM

I was finally able to go in and see David at 12:30 last night. He look pretty bad. He was having a lot of pain and if course more nausea. They have him on a pain pump by he was constantly pushing it do they were also giving him extra. He ha...s a central line, which means it's an IV in the main vein in his neck. That will stay until he is released, so that they can 'feed' him. They started that last night. He also has an IV in each hand. The tube is still down his throat and will stay for a few more days as well. I was able to stay in his room last night and got back up there around 1:30. I set my alarm for 3 and got up and called the number they gave me. He was not doing much better. His blood pressure is pretty high as well as his heart rate. I couldn't see him until 8 this morning. Went in this morning they said he was doing slightly better than an hour ago, blood pressure still high and while I was there the DR came in. Told me his mussels were tight and drawn. Probably from being so dehydrated for the past couple of days. They were leaving him in ICU for now, at least today. I can go back in and see him at 10, 12, 2, 4, 6. He was awake in an out. Asked me if I had called into work. Then said, this didn't go as expected, he didn't remember that they did not have to place a bag on him. That kinda got a lip curl. He also asked about the kids and if I was there alone. He would go in and out before I could really answer him. They made me leave as they were ordering an EKG, because his potassium level was so low. I go back at 10 and will update if anything has changed. Hang on the DR said, this is going to be a bumpy ride.
12:58 PM
Noon visit: nothing has changed. He is swelling a lot, they said that could be expected. They are still flushing him with fluids. His heart rate has not went down any neither has his blood pressure. He is in surgery ICU, they said he was not going to move to regular ICU until he was stable enough to move. It pisses me off they only let me back there 5 mins at a time. I hate leaving him. I feel lost when he's back there and I can't see what is going on. This sucks.
9:28 PM
Well the 8 pm visit was cancelled because they moved David to a regular room! He is now in room 908 our new home away from home. The view sucks but who needs a view with you have your hubby on the road to recovery. He looks a lot better than he did the last time I seen him. He is able to talk and even joked a few times. He was able to tell me what the DR told him about the surgery. They were waiting for him to improve to start. I know we still have a very long road ahead of us but tonight I find myself at a little more at ease. Thank you so much for all the love and support you guys have given us. I read him each message and he was speechless. I have the most amazing friends and family. I ♥ You all! Watch out recovery, The Donald's are heading your way!
1-4-11
8:46 AM
Last night was another rough night. I stayed with him to make sure he was okay. These meds they have him on, make him talk out of his head. Every time be falls asleep and wakes back up he don't remember where he is. The noises of the IV pump (which looks like a transformer) is driving him nuts. And of all things he keeps taking his hospital gown and blanket off, and laying there buck ass nekkid. You know how modest he is. He has tried to pull out his NG tube, pull out his catheter, roll over and one time tried to pull himself off ...the bed. He was running fever around 3 am, but has since went back down. The DR has been in to see him and thinks that getting him up maybe walking would make it well enough to remove some of the tubes. He also has leg compression cuffs on and he has cussed them all night. So needless to say there wasn't a lot of rest on my part or his and I am feeling it. My parents are on the way up here and I plan on heading to the hotel to take a shower and a nap. I will update as things change.
12:30 PM
All 3 DR's that have been attending to David these past few days came in to talk to Us. Dr. Jamie Bohl as his main surgeon. She came in to see how things were going, and to update us. She said that David's case was like something she had never seen before. That if someone would have told her about him, she don't think she would have been able to believe them. She said he did really well, and his recovery seems to be going on the right path, that it's going to be a rocky road. He is so ready to have these tubes out if him. He is constantly pulling on them and asking what they are for. They had him up and in a chair for about 5 mins and then back in his bed. That took a lot out of him. I still haven't gotten any sleep. Not too much longer and I will be completely out of gas. I hope tonight is a better night than last night.
1-5-11
6:57 PM
Today has been a busy day sorry for the slow update. David's mom came in last night and took the night shift so that I could get some sleep. Let me tell you. I don't even remember laying down in that bed. Today Kayla had an appointment at the Children's hospital. Where she was diagnosed with Fibromalgia. By the time we got here he had been sitting in the chair for a little over an hour. He looks 110% better than he did last night at 9 pm when I left him. The swelling has gone way down and he has a little bit of color to him. Today he is 100 % with us. No medicated crazy talk, or nekkid misshaps. He has been talking a lot, ...and asking lot's of questions. They will start him on physical therapy some time tomorrow and help him regain the strength in his legs since he has been on his back for over a week now. So long that he is having a hard time getting comfortable. The DR told him if things keep looking up that maybe some time next week we can go home!! Each day he is getting better and each day he is joking around and being the same ole David. Hopefully tmw they can take the NG tube out. It hurts his throat so bad and it makes it hard for him to speak. So all in all today was a good day.
1-7-11
5:17 AM
It's 5 am, and it's been another long night. As I sit waiting for the day to start, so it can be over again I find myself missing normalcy (whatever that really is). I miss my house, my bed, my cat, my dog, my friends, hell I even miss work (I must have lost my mind). I hope everyone has a good day, I think it might be Friday.
1:24 PM
Three steps forward two steps back. Another long night for David he is finding such a hard time getting any comfort so he is not resting much at all. The pain meds work as far as the pain but it really doesn't help for the discomfort on his back. Around 4 am this morning his bowels started to move. Which is wonderful!!! That means things seem to be working, but with that the vomiting started back. And you can imagine how painful that is with 21 staples in your belly. The nausea meds work for the most part but he didn't feel it coming on so it was too late for the first round. He has been doing both physical and occupational therapy every day as well as respiratory therapy 3 times a day. He hates all of them. He is finally resting, he hasn't slept like this for over a week. I hope this is a sign of what kind of night we will have.
4:19 PM
They are putting the NG tube back in. They can not control the vomiting. I can't be in there when they do it. My heart is breaking.
1-8-11
8:26 AM
Day 10. I was able to get some good restful sleep last night. DiLisa came an stayed with David while I was able to get in a nap and a shower. The Dr came in this morning and didn't have too much to say. Just will take time. I asked David was he doing any better and he said yes. He must have felt bad because of the stuff in his stomach yesterday. They had a very hard time getting the tube back down yesterday. He had it for 6 days so this throat was already sore. It's so sore now he is not even talking. Just hand gestures and head nodding. I was able to get his a little cleaned up this morning. But even that was painful. It's hard to believe we have been here for 10 days, and at the other hospital for 5 days before. We miss home.
6:00 PM
David just pulled his NG tube out. He said he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't even breath. Please god help him not get sick again. Please just give me this one thing.
1-9-11
2:14 PM
What a turn of events! Today is day 11, and today is a new day! David is still feeling better and better. Pulling that tube was the best thing for him so far! A few waves of nausea, but that has been it. A few waves of nausea, but that has been it. He said it was because he got his sense of smell back, and it's a little over whelming. The DR came in and said he sounded good, and David said he was having some cramping and they said that wad... def a good sign! He just had a little bit of jello. He is taking it nice and slow. He hasn't eaten anything since the day after Christmas. It is going to take a while for him to have the hunger and appetite as he did before. They are still giving him nourishment via IV until he is fully able to do it on his own. Keep up those prayers coming. Hopefully all future updates are this up and we are not stepping backwards any more.
9:15 PM
David is kicked back watching Hitch. It has been a very good day. :-)
1-10-11
9:26 AM
The DR came in at 5:30 this morning. We had a very restful night so David was chipper and ready to see him. He said he looks great. All our concerns were normal, and nothing to worry about. They might start him on solid food today! He took a long hot bath this morning and got really clean for the first time in a while. Now he is snuggled down and taking a cat nap. Here is to another good day!!
2:32 PM
The DR just came in David's white blood cells are high. They think infection. Sending him down for more test. Crap.
1-11-11
7:25 AM
The test results showed some fluid around the connection site. They looked at his belly and there is a couple of the staples that are red and oozy. They are about to open it up and flush out the wound. He thinks that is the cause of the infection. Not sure where that puts us in going home tho. He had another pretty good night. His pain is just about gone. Just some discomfort from being down so long. So he moved between the chair to the bed about 15 times a night. I don't care one bit, as long as he gets some comfort I would help him move 150 times. I will update again after we see the Surgeon. Think positive!
9:15 AM
Okay. Not going home today. They found a pretty bad infection. They took out the staples and packed the wound with gauze. They are sending samples to see what exactly is going on. David's mood is sinking again. He is very sullen. :-(
1-11-11
9:40 AM
They are taking his central line out and stopping his TPN (IV nutrition), changed him over to a full diet. They came in and talked to us about a home health nurse and what sort of equipment we may need at home. Could this be a good sign?!
1-12-11
10:07 AM
The surgeon just left, and gave us the bad news. She wants to keep David a couple more days to make sure all the infection is totally gone, and to make sure that a home health nurse is in place and ready to come out as soon as we get home. I an kinda disappointed, but I totally understand.So it looks like Friday when we will be there! We both can't wait to be home. He will stay alone tonight and most of the day tmw, I will drive back home tonight. Kayla has orientation at Nicholls tomorrow. After lunch I will head back this way and stay with him tomorrow night I hate hate hate leaving him alone, but there is only 2 of us! lol