Happy Friday Eve! It's 3:00 PM and this day is almost over!
My session with J last night was...well.....I haven't found the correct word for it yet. It was a full range of emotions I know that. But, I did kick major ass on my run before my work out. I was moving pretty fast 4.9-5.0 MPH. Oh yeah allllllllllllllllllll of this was moving that fast. That wasn't the hard part. That came when we moved into the torture chamber (this really cool room they have on the back of the gym that has low impact floors and where you can use all sorts of great equipment like balance balls and resistance bands etc). The first few minutes in there were actually AWESOME! I had asked him to bring his scale back because I didn't feel that the last time I weighted was very accurate (sodium is a bitch yo!). So he did. I was HAPPY :)
Then came the sheer FRUSTRATION. I had to do an exercise that should have been easy. Well yeah it would have been easy if I didn't weight 8985 lbs (this is a slight exaggeration). I got so winded, I could NOT catch my breath. I am not kidding. To the point of puking or passing out. I really felt like one or the other would happen. The came the ANGER. There is NO reason at the age of 37 years old that I can't do this. NONE. I will not let this opportunity pass me by. I will take full advantage of this and I will succeed.
After about 30 more mins of literaly kicking my ass all over that room, we moved back into th e main gym to the weight side, the side I like to call the BOYS side of the gym. Here came the PANIC, I am too fat to be out here, I will be in some ones way, what if someone watches me....Okay actually that was the last thing I am worried about. I have moved on passed that. If you don't like what you see, look the other freaking way. Any ways. we walked right over to this contraption. That looked like it belonged in some sort of sex video.

Yeah that is pretty much what I said. Here is where I chucked some wood, or chopped some, and maybe even did it reverse at one point and time. Oh yeah and by the end of it all that pulling and chopping and grunting, my boob popped out. Not the actual boob, but my boob in my bra. My bra is tan/flesh colored. So to everyone on the other side of the gym...my boob fell out. Hope everyone enjoyed the show, by the time I realized it, we were finished. You're welcome patroons of my favorite gym. I promise to not let that happen again. Even though it was way worse on you than it was me.
Speaking of my favorite gym.

This place is where it's at. I have always been afraid of going to a gym at my size. Worried about how it would feel (that is probably all in my head). But since I joined here, I have felt like this was MY gym. I come and go as I please, and I fell very comfortable there. Not out of place what so ever. Like I really do belong there. Just wanted to share that.
So last night after my work out, I went home to watch my favorite show of all time.

This year is season is going to be the best yet. Because I will be following along with the contestants and doing this at home. I know there is a lot of negative things out there about this show, believe me, I have read them all. But what people fail to grasp, is this show gives EVERYONE hope. We know that the contestants work out ridiculously long hours, and we know that is not likely in our own lives. But it shows the DRIVE that a person can have when pushed. That is why I watch. That is what motivates me. If they can push through some of there emotional baggage and make something positive out of it, then so can I dangit! It gives me hope that one day(even if it takes me 3 times as long as it does for them on the show) that I too, will be successful and reach my goals.
Tonight is Week 1. Day 2 for my Couch to 5k program. Wish me luck. I am looking forward to seeing how well I do.


T%2B6KBE%2BBMf7pihpOw~~_12.jpg)


That's not even half of them! I can't wait to get them and start showing them off. Okay people. Wish me luck tonight. I would like NOT to puke, and NOT to pass out....Hey a girl can dream. 

I was turned onto this form of expressing myself about a year ago. I have always loved to devour galleries full of this type of art, but had never found myself wanting to do it. That was until I completed my first page. WOW! It was so therapeutic! Think of it as putting your feelings to paper...without many words. For me, I can look at an object and connect with it. I can 'see' a story in it. I can then take that object and tell my story with it. Since I started I have created about 15 pages. Each one telling a story of something that had some sort of meaning to my life at the time. Some of them, the story is very clear. Some of them not.
I love every aspect of this hobby. From having a moment, then taking that moment and running with it. I love gathering the things that will go into my page, and moving things around until I think they look just right. And the finally when its all finished, saving it and feeling like it is complete. Some pages come quick, everything seems to fall into place, some pages take longer because I have ONE idea that I can't covey so I dig and poke until I figure out a way to lay it out.




