Watch Me Loose It

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Take Control! Get a hold of your life. DO IT NOW!

Okay, I've heard it said before. Hitting rock bottom. This has got to be what that feels like. What have I done to myself? Why the hell have I let myself get this way? How many times have I said I am fat and happy? Oh please! Even I can't believe that anymore. I pray to god that this is the time. I fear if it's not, I will be dead by the time I am 40. How can I know that I am not healthy, but do nothing about it? How can I continue to to be a disappointment to myself and my family? Please give me the strength I need to do this, this time. Please.

Starting Stats:
Waist-59 1/4
Bust-54 1/2
L-Thigh-25 1/2

Well today was good. I told many people at work that I am working on me. The more that know the more accountable that will make me. I really would love to look back on this day and say it was the first day of the rest my life. T and J are on this journey with me. That will really help me at work. But I can not depend on other people. I have to depend on me. David has always been a huge supporter of mine. I can't wait to look into his eyes and show him that I am not a total failure, and that I can finish what I start for once in my life. Please god let me do this.

What I ate today:
Four scrambled eggs with salsa-8
Popecorn shrimp-6
Green beans-0
-boiled egg-1
-salad dressing-3
100 Calorie Pack-2

Total 42 points
Target Points 40
Used 2 Flex Points

Today was a crazy day. The kids start school Tuesday so we had tons of running to do. Micheal got his new glasses today, uniforms ect. Kayla needed new pants they both needed shoes. Wow. So much to do so little time to plan. I have been craving Sushi, I have been reading and it seems very point friendly. It was so good. After all that shopping we came home and then I went back to grocery shop. I feel alot better with a stocked pantry and everything I need to succed at my finger tips. I can not set myself up for failure again. I must do this to be successful. I have what I need to get me through this week. I am doing this. I feel in control.

What I ate today:
Two Spring rolls-6
Miso Soup-2
WW Ice Cream-2
Rice Cakes-2
Turkey Meat-4
Two Torillias-2
Fruit Salad
WW Ice Cream-2

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